This is the second in an occasional series on the right and proper way to behave in an art gallery.  But I really made a terrible error before.  Because this is Art Gallery Etiquette 101, lesson 1.  Really, this is it…


Because you can get away with a lot in a modern art gallery.  Not least in an exhibition part-curated by Tracey Emin:

Laugh at the lamest watercolours in the Royal Academy’s Summer Exhibition?  Yeah, the Academy’s down with the kids these days.

Discuss the intimate details of your private life on your mobile?  Yep, if you don’t mind a frown or two from the home counties set.

Audibly break wind in Gallery IV?  Well the guards will probably be too afraid you’re doing some of that new-fangled ‘performance art’ to throw you out…


But the one thing you can’t do – which you really, really can’t do – is this:

Royal Academy Smash: visitor smashes artwork


Still, if you do, at least you won’t have been the first…

Museum trip man arrested for smashing Qinq vases